THOUGHTS ON: How To Tackle A Spending Problem

One of the best things I did for myself in 2015 was making the decision to wake up to my unhealthy spending habits and to start making proper use of my savings account.

In fact from 2013 to August of last year, I was never out of my overdraft for long. Like anyone who's developed an addiction to anything, I was pretty unaware of my problem for a good while; I always had an excuse, and almost always managed to keep things together just enough so that things never spiralled too far out of control. I never had a credit card and my overdraft is a very small one, but every now and again I dipped into my savings and gradually depleted them to a third of what they once were.

February marked six months of hard saving; while I still had the occasional wobble (December, I'm looking at you) I have managed to put aside a healthy percentage of my earnings each month without fail and, touch wood, it looks like my spending habits are finally under control... But I honestly wish this were a subject that was discussed more online, especially as we bloggers tend to focus on spending rather than on saving.

So today I'm doing my bit, and giving you my tried and tested advice on how to tackle a spending problem. These range from the purely practical to the mental side of spending as well... Let's dive in.

CUT OFF TEMPTATION

You've probably heard this one before, but as your loving Auntie Anna, I'm going to tell you it again anyway... Unfollow the brand accounts you have on social media (yes, Instagram, Facey B, Snapchat - the whole shebang). Unsubscribe to email newsletters and to any physical junk mail. You really don't need them. Delete any shopping specific apps and delete any bookmarks on your computer; if your tabs open to frequent pages, set it to a blank tab; in fact this is one of my favourite tips from this post.

Cleansing your social media channels from brand presence is all well and good, but the next step can be a little tougher; find a way to manage your biggest enablers. All of mine were online, so I made the decision to unfollow any bloggers, YouTubers or Instagram accounts that were setting off my spending itch. I also stopped watching haul videos and I can't say I miss them.

If your enablers are people in your life, have a conversation with them explaining you need to stop spending as much. If done in an open and honest way, I have every confidence that they will understand.

Lastly for this section, check yourself. If you find yourself sharing things you've bought on your social media, break that habit: those likes and comments feed into the buzz that you have trained your brain to feel when you buy something. Try not to enable friends and family, as doing so will attract that behaviour back to you. This all may sound a bit strange but it does make a difference.

SWITCH YOUR FOCUS TO SAVING INSTEAD

It's easy to feel like not spending opens a huge void in your life... I know, I've been there. Those Amazon deliveries felt like presents from me, to me. What on earth was going to fill that space?

The answer was, of course, saving. Saving for something that really mattered. Choose on something you want to save up for; having a concrete goal makes setting that money aside so much easier. Then open your savings account or start using your existing one properly; bear in mind that saving will also be much easier if you open an account that isn't easily withdrawn from online or on your phone.

Work out your budget at the start of each month. Be conservative but still try and be realistic. I found that I would tend to forget putting in enough to see friends and for birthdays, so always have these in your mind when working out your prediction of how much you will need. Then as soon as your pay comes in, transfer whatever amount you've decided to set aside straight into your savings account. You will then be left with what you need for that month.

Where possible, do away with monthly subscriptions. I don't currently have a Netflix account or a Spotify account, and it was only was I knew I could afford to that I signed up for Adobe's Creative Cloud version of Photoshop.

Feel proud as your savings increase. In fact, I remember watching a documentary that said saving money releases those same endorphins that spending does (so sorry I can't find a link to it!). Now I end up feeling a very real guilt on the odd occasion that I do buy something unnecessary. It's amazing how the mind can completely switch, but persist and you will find that it does.

GET MINDFUL ABOUT SPENDING

I believe that this section is the real reason why I've not relapsed, where other attempts failed. This advice goes a little deeper but yielded the biggest results for me.

For me, everything changed when I watched The True Cost. It's a powerful documentary on the fast fashion industry, but it was the catalyst I need to start actively exploring minimalism amongst other things. Question who made what you are buying. Are they being fairly treated, with a decent wage? I also loved this episode of the Lively Show, when I first heard about the zero waste lifestyle. It further opened my eyes to how damaging mindless consumption is to our world.

And don't forget to notice the emotional side of your spending habits. Become aware of when you spend; is it when you are down, or bored? Are your purchases linked to your self image? Working out why you spend makes it so easier to get to the root of the issue.

Lastly, notice that spending comedown. I found that I was tying huge amounts of emotional baggage to each purchase, always hoping that they would change my life in some way. None ever made me happier; instead I would simply shift to the next thing I wanted and start obsessing over how that would change me. Each item came with a particular sense of disappointment. I don't miss it.

I now see myself as being on the other side of my spending problem. These measures might be a permanent thing for you or perhaps some are temporary; either way I encourage you to give them a go!

Is there anything you think I have missed? This is one of those subjects I can't get enough of hearing about so any advice or further resources would be hugely welcome!

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Learning To Appreciate Where I'm At

This post came about after a chat with my internet babe Sabrina. We were talking about how challenging it is to save money for the future and the stress she was feeling about moving home with her husband, and at one point she said, "You are so lucky. You only have to worry about yourself."

It struck a nerve because the past six months have seen me spending an unhealthy amount of time thinking that I was really unlucky. I saw myself as the 23-year-old girl who is always single, living at home with her parents, with no obvious next step career-wise. To have a happily married friend with a home of her own suggest that the grass might be greener on my side of the street was a genuine revelation to me.

I'm sure you have noticed it is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the little voices in all our heads; the ones that say, "You should be doing X; you shouldn't be doing Y. Look at all these beautiful people who have it better than you." I am most certainly not the first to observe that social media facilitates self-comparison, and I have often caught myself wondering how much of our online worlds are driven by this desire to aspire; to focus on admiring the lives of others, rather than appreciating our own.

I've also heard it said that worrying is one of those things that feels seductively productive; paradoxically it is as if by mulling over our insecurities, we believe we are doing something about them. Stepping back and letting go of this urge to endlessly evaluate ourselves can seem to be an incredibly tall order.

I have found that it helps to remind myself that in fact, any one of us can become convinced that someone else's life is rich with blessings that we lack. At least she is pretty/skinny/smart, our brains are so well trained to blurt out. At least she has a wonderful home/career/family life.

It hasn't been easy to say to myself that hey, my circumstances mean I can travel this summer, just as I've always wanted to do. What's more, all in all I am actually very lucky indeed... and such a critical part of my minimalism journey has been learning to stop believing that I need something and training myself to see what I have.

This month I started a little gratitude jar. It's not been a daily thing, but when something unexpectedly nice has happened I've written it down so that I can come back to it and feel thankful. Slowly but surely I am learning that it doesn't matter what I have; in my book, what matters is what I do and how well I treat people in my life.

Do you feel the pressure of self-comparison? Is it something you struggle with, or have you been able to find ways to deal with it? You guys always have excellent insight so I would love to hear from you!

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THOUGHTS ON: Are We Doing Minimalism Wrong?

I've been thinking a lot lately about the minimalism thing... and in its cool, unassuming ways lies a worry for me. One question has resurfaced over and over -

Is our view of minimalism really about living with less?

The last couple of years has seen a wave of cleaner and simpler styles flood high street brands like H&M, Zara and Forever 21, while homes, hairstyles, makeup and of course fashion took on a Scandinavian-inspired sense of "less is more". Elegant, understated pendants replaced the statement necklace. Quiet, unassuming white t-shirts stepped in over fussy printed pieces. We cleared our wardrobes, emptied our bathroom cupboards, binned the clutter that topped our dressers, and headed for the tills with anything that hinted at functionality and a simpler, happier life... Or at least, I certainly did.

It's been almost 18 months since I started my "minimalist journey" and I've hit a stumbling block. I've realised that I'm not really a "minimalist" after all. I'm a consumerist who's happily bought into the latest hype; I've even got the bank balance to prove it.

Where I had hoped to find clear, empty spaces in both my home and my life, I've realised that the room I made with endless clear-outs has instead been filled by yet more mass-produced, unethically made stuff. Stuff that is undeniably less colourful and busy than the items it replaced, but nevertheless - there's far more than I need.

Is this minimalist trend (and yes, I am calling it a trend because I fear that is all it is) just plain old fashioned consumerism... but this time a little plainer? Are those calming, unassuming neutrals just making it easier to amass still more crap that won't last five minutes?

Minimalism and its sibling essentialism have, I feel, been warped by our unacknowledgeable need to fill the emptiness in our lives with stuff. Had a bad day? Buy some simple silver earrings*. Had a great day? You deserve those fashionably hideous Birkenstock sandals*. Ultimately, I believe that nothing has changed.

What should minimalism be about?

For starters, I think we need to think less about our stuff. To stop placing so much value on a Pinterest-perfect wardrobe, even when it's one that packs up properly into a tiny suitcase.

I'd like us to spend less time minimising our wardrobes and more time minimising the amount of brain space we so happily give to the objects in our lives.

I'd like us to buy out of necessity and not emotion. I'd like us to prioritise spending money on time with our favourite people over spending it on our favourite brands.

I'd like us to worry more about where the things we do buy come from and worry less about whether these things make us cooler or more worthy of love.

Lastly I would like us to value other commodities that we are rich in, be they time, health, youth, or love.

If ever there were a post I wanted to hear your thoughts on, it is this one. Are you just as concerned by minimalism - or do you disagree with me? Come and have a chat in the comments because I would love to hear from you!

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* I mention these not because there is anything in particular wrong with them, but because I literally own them.

NB I have just adapted this to make my point clearer; I do not take umbrage with the minimalist lifestyle, but with those big brands that have turned its principles into a trend with which they can sell more cheap crap. I realised after a chat with Sophie that it was unintentionally ambiguous when first published!