We got off to a very rocky start, you and I. The passing of an old school friend came as the greatest of shocks; even now it feels so raw that it is hard to believe nearly a year has gone by. It took me a good while before I let go of my anger, but for the most part I've learnt to focus on how lucky I am and how blessed I was to have grown up with such a lovely chap.
Given that 2015 also saw me finishing uni and moving back home, it is hardly surprising that I've come to the end of the year feeling like I've got a fair few lessons tucked under my belt... and as this blog is about sharing and caring, I thought I'd write about the most helpful today!
LESS REALLY IS MORE
For the entirety of 2014 and much of 2015 I had a spending problem, yet I was deeply in denial. Month after month my bank balance hovered only briefly above my overdraft, and it wasn't until I had a series of epiphanies this summer that I made some big changes. I've set myself a reasonable allowance for what I spend each month and saved the rest, a choice that has made me so much happier. I finally realised that a drawer full of lipsticks and wardrobe of cheap clothes was doing me no good, and that a consumerist lifestyle was doing the world harm too.
"RECULER POUR MIEUX SAUTER"
These words were said to me by a teacher friend during my year abroad, and they really struck a chord in 2015. It literally means "to step back in order to jump better", but she described it as taking what looks like a step backwards in order to make a better decision. I've moved home after uni and told myself that I'd take my time before I committed myself to any serious career moves like grad schemes and internships... I knew that after being pretty unhappy for much of the last few years, I needed to take time out to find the right fit and hopefully do some travelling in the meantime. It's the best decision I've ever made.
HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH
A recent lesson, and one that I know will be challenging to stick to, came to me from my boss during my appraisal last week. "Sometimes I can tell you're feeling insecure, and it's like you close in on yourself," she said. "You don't need to."
I was surprised and immediately moved by this comment... I had always thought that the shit I say to myself, and the mean voice that says it, were things only I could hear. To have someone I respect tell me they knew that I was struggling floored me, but this week I've been making a very conscious effort to answer back to that voice (cheesy as it sounds). I don't want to be in my 80s, desperately wishing I could have told my younger self she wasn't half bad, really. It is so hard to ignore our inner critics but I hope that I can get better at it this coming year.
THE LITTLE THINGS REALLY DO MATTER
A night in with my brothers. A gorgeous sunrise on my way to work. Singing in the car with my bestie. They're all moments that I used to let pass me by, but now I revel in these times... For all the grass-is-greener thinking that social media can encourage, there is no denying that there are really lots of little blessings to be spotted in the quiet of our everyday lives.
Anyone want a cracker with that chunk o' cheese?! ;)
But that's me done... What lessons came to you throughout the course of this year? Please feel free to share them in the comments!
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