Managing Homesickness

It feels only right to feature some of my favourite photos from my bedside table in today's post; I'm about 3000 miles from home and even though I'm someone who really loves travelling, this week saw a lot of headline-grabbing news occur in the UK and it's been tough to keep my chin up.

Homesickness affects us all at different times in our lives; it may be your first year at uni, your year abroad, your first time moving away from home for good, or any number of other instances.

I feel very lucky that for the amount of time I've been away from home my instances of feeling truly homesick have been relatively rare... But even I've had my moments of wishing I was back in my bubble.

If you're away at the moment, this one is for you; and as ever, if you guys have any tips I would love to hear about them in the comments.

Let's get to it.

RECOGNISE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES IMPACT ON YOUR MOOD

Often homesickness is less a sign that home is where you should be and more an indication that you are struggling with something in your new surroundings. I had it worst when I was working in France, hating my job and noticing the loss of the social life I'd enjoyed in the UK.

Home itself was no rosier or brighter; it just appeared that way because my situation at the time felt so bleak. The solution is usually not to fixate on home but to try and resolve whatever has cropped up in your current setting.

NOT EVERY MOMENT IS AN INSTA MOMENT

Bad days do feel worse when you are away from your bubble... but bad days end and dwelling on them will not help. Not every day of your experience elsewhere will be as fantastic as you might hope, and putting pressure on each moment to be perfect often leaves us enjoying our travels far less.

Keep your chin up, and know that after this rocky patch things will most likely to get so much smoother. I try and leave my lofty expectations aside as much as I can and just appreciate the ride, for better and for worse.

COMMIT TO BEING PRESENT

Sound advice for anywhere you are: give yourself to the situation you are in. As human beings we like to find ways to check out of things that cause us pain; it could be by ringing home as much as you can, hiding in bed, or just letting rip and complaining about what you dislike.

It can be hard to open up and to get to know the people that are around you, but you will always get back what you put in. Be patient and don't be afraid to fake it till you make it, saying yes to going out even when you don't feel like it, as often these are the times that you'll enjoy most. I hugely recommend putting your phone away and ignoring the FOMO; seeing your loved ones having fun may feel productive, but it is truly anything but.

If one area refuses to be fixed (be it work, your new flat or your new friendships), find another way to enjoy wherever you are. I fell for photography in France and it was a great way to connect me to my new country; simple things like attending local classes, trying a new hobby and exploring your local area will help make up for any frustrations and upsets that are happening in other parts of your day.

KNOW THAT TIME WILL PASS

If you try everything and still feel homesick, know that time is a slippery thing and all too soon you'll find yourself headed home. My seven months in France flew by and at the end I found I enjoyed myself most in the last two weeks before my departure. I am now two years older and wiser and it has made being here in the US a much easier experience. The odd wobble is to be expected, but I know that in no time whatsoever I'll be leaving and missing it hugely.

I of course welcome any guidance you have on this subject - have you had any rough experiences of homesickness? Come let me know in the comments!

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A Tour Around My iPhone...

It is Sunday and of course time for a new video for you! Tuck into your brekkie with this tour of my iPhone... These videos are always one of my favourite things to watch, so hopefully you enjoy!

Have a lovely day whatever you are up to and I will see you next week!

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My Guide To Better Sleep

As a child, falling asleep was never an issue for me. I slept in cars, on trains, at friends' sleepovers and (of course) my own little bed with problems. Even as babies, apparently my twin and I were surprisingly good at catching our forty winks...

But, like so many things, my sleep pattern altered throughout my teenage years. I am naturally a night owl; leave me to my own devices and I will gravitate towards increasingly late bedtimes, as my biggest bursts of energy and creativity tend to occur after sundown.

What's more, I have found that in serious bouts of stress my sleep is what goes first. My longest bout of insomnia occurred during my first year of uni, when over a period of a few weeks I rarely managed anything more than three hours a night.

I consider myself incredibly lucky that I never had to take medication for this issue, and while I cannot claim to be any kind of expert, being the world's lightest sleeper means I've had to become pretty disciplined about this part of my life... However, if your problems are persistent and affecting you on a long term basis, it might be worth considering professional guidance.

Even if bad nights are a rarity, I still hope you'll find something in this post to help improve your quality of sleep.

Let's dive into it...

EAT AN EARLIER, LIGHTER DINNER

Eating early is something I swear by; digestion is a pretty intense thing for the body and we all know that feeling of lying in bed after a late dinner, waiting for our tums to calm down and just chill. I typically go to bed sometime between 10 and 11 but aim to have eaten by 8 at the latest.

I also love the German approach to mealtimes; there's an expression I adore that says, "Frühstücken wie ein Kaiser, Mittagessen wie ein König und Abendessen wie ein Bettler" - in English, eat breakfast like a Kaiser, lunch like a king and dinner like a pauper. Essentially it involves having your biggest meal portions at breakfast and your smallest as your evening supper. It takes some getting used to but makes total sense to me!

SLEEP IN A TIDY SPACE

Confession time... My room always used to be a hot mess. "Hovel" is describing it somewhat kindly. Now it may not be Kinfolk-perfect, but it is a damn sight better than it used to be, let me tell you. Marie Kondo was the person who concisely explained why I found having a less chaotic space so much more relaxing, when I couldn't figure out the connection; she argues that our brains have less to be distracted and stress out by, letting us unwind more effectively. I couldn't agree more. Even a natural messy kid like myself will learn to love it, I swear.

FIND A WAY TO MENTALLY OFFLOAD

For some people the best way to offload is a journal or diary; if you have been here a while, you might already know that I am a huge fan of meditation. Whatever your preference, I recommend choosing an activity and spending time letting your worries go just before sleep. I just discovered the Insight Timer app and I've been blown away by its quality, given that it is 100% free. If English isn't your native tongue, you may be happy to hear it offers guided meditations in a variety of languages, so you can pick what you prefer. I simply choose a guided meditation, hop into bed and drift off to sleep considerably quicker.

REDUCE YOUR SCREEN TIME

Even with all the blue light filter apps in the world, spending time on your phone or computer is still a sure fire way to mess with your body's natural melatonin release. What's more the act of being sat with a gadget that offers the potential of endless distraction, cleverly designed to keep you browsing, means you're likely to get lost in the depths of the internet. Aim to down electronic gadgets a good hour before bed and try reading instead; I'm also a fan of knitting as a wind-down activity too.

Take things a step further and never use your phone in bed. It's a rule that I've recently introduced and really recommend. In the mornings I end up scrolling and not getting up on time; the same goes for the evenings, where browsing through Instagram distracts me from falling asleep. I've also heard it said that if you are too tired to do anything but play on your phone, you are too tired for anything full stop. It's something I come back to a lot.

Put your phone on a surface you can't reach in bed and leave that guy alone. 

EXERCISE... BUT NEVER JUST BEFORE BED

Sometimes we can't sleep simply because our bodies aren't physically tired enough. If you lead a pretty sedentary lifestyle like me, you'll know the need to factor activity into your day. I typically go for a little daily yoga first thing, with evening classes dotted into my week, which seems to work well. I do have to remember that dance parties before bed are fun but not conducive to sleep (something that is saddening to hear if you love dance parties like I do). A hefty work out wakes the body up just when you need to be taking it down a notch, so again, take it easy.


If you liked this post you may want to check out my guide to becoming a morning person and also my more mindful approach to technology post - both touch on things I've mentioned here and might be of interest!

In the meantime, what are your favourite tips for better sleep? I am always on the lookout for things to improve, so do let me know in the comments below...

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THOUGHTS ON: How To Tackle A Spending Problem

One of the best things I did for myself in 2015 was making the decision to wake up to my unhealthy spending habits and to start making proper use of my savings account.

In fact from 2013 to August of last year, I was never out of my overdraft for long. Like anyone who's developed an addiction to anything, I was pretty unaware of my problem for a good while; I always had an excuse, and almost always managed to keep things together just enough so that things never spiralled too far out of control. I never had a credit card and my overdraft is a very small one, but every now and again I dipped into my savings and gradually depleted them to a third of what they once were.

February marked six months of hard saving; while I still had the occasional wobble (December, I'm looking at you) I have managed to put aside a healthy percentage of my earnings each month without fail and, touch wood, it looks like my spending habits are finally under control... But I honestly wish this were a subject that was discussed more online, especially as we bloggers tend to focus on spending rather than on saving.

So today I'm doing my bit, and giving you my tried and tested advice on how to tackle a spending problem. These range from the purely practical to the mental side of spending as well... Let's dive in.

CUT OFF TEMPTATION

You've probably heard this one before, but as your loving Auntie Anna, I'm going to tell you it again anyway... Unfollow the brand accounts you have on social media (yes, Instagram, Facey B, Snapchat - the whole shebang). Unsubscribe to email newsletters and to any physical junk mail. You really don't need them. Delete any shopping specific apps and delete any bookmarks on your computer; if your tabs open to frequent pages, set it to a blank tab; in fact this is one of my favourite tips from this post.

Cleansing your social media channels from brand presence is all well and good, but the next step can be a little tougher; find a way to manage your biggest enablers. All of mine were online, so I made the decision to unfollow any bloggers, YouTubers or Instagram accounts that were setting off my spending itch. I also stopped watching haul videos and I can't say I miss them.

If your enablers are people in your life, have a conversation with them explaining you need to stop spending as much. If done in an open and honest way, I have every confidence that they will understand.

Lastly for this section, check yourself. If you find yourself sharing things you've bought on your social media, break that habit: those likes and comments feed into the buzz that you have trained your brain to feel when you buy something. Try not to enable friends and family, as doing so will attract that behaviour back to you. This all may sound a bit strange but it does make a difference.

SWITCH YOUR FOCUS TO SAVING INSTEAD

It's easy to feel like not spending opens a huge void in your life... I know, I've been there. Those Amazon deliveries felt like presents from me, to me. What on earth was going to fill that space?

The answer was, of course, saving. Saving for something that really mattered. Choose on something you want to save up for; having a concrete goal makes setting that money aside so much easier. Then open your savings account or start using your existing one properly; bear in mind that saving will also be much easier if you open an account that isn't easily withdrawn from online or on your phone.

Work out your budget at the start of each month. Be conservative but still try and be realistic. I found that I would tend to forget putting in enough to see friends and for birthdays, so always have these in your mind when working out your prediction of how much you will need. Then as soon as your pay comes in, transfer whatever amount you've decided to set aside straight into your savings account. You will then be left with what you need for that month.

Where possible, do away with monthly subscriptions. I don't currently have a Netflix account or a Spotify account, and it was only was I knew I could afford to that I signed up for Adobe's Creative Cloud version of Photoshop.

Feel proud as your savings increase. In fact, I remember watching a documentary that said saving money releases those same endorphins that spending does (so sorry I can't find a link to it!). Now I end up feeling a very real guilt on the odd occasion that I do buy something unnecessary. It's amazing how the mind can completely switch, but persist and you will find that it does.

GET MINDFUL ABOUT SPENDING

I believe that this section is the real reason why I've not relapsed, where other attempts failed. This advice goes a little deeper but yielded the biggest results for me.

For me, everything changed when I watched The True Cost. It's a powerful documentary on the fast fashion industry, but it was the catalyst I need to start actively exploring minimalism amongst other things. Question who made what you are buying. Are they being fairly treated, with a decent wage? I also loved this episode of the Lively Show, when I first heard about the zero waste lifestyle. It further opened my eyes to how damaging mindless consumption is to our world.

And don't forget to notice the emotional side of your spending habits. Become aware of when you spend; is it when you are down, or bored? Are your purchases linked to your self image? Working out why you spend makes it so easier to get to the root of the issue.

Lastly, notice that spending comedown. I found that I was tying huge amounts of emotional baggage to each purchase, always hoping that they would change my life in some way. None ever made me happier; instead I would simply shift to the next thing I wanted and start obsessing over how that would change me. Each item came with a particular sense of disappointment. I don't miss it.

I now see myself as being on the other side of my spending problem. These measures might be a permanent thing for you or perhaps some are temporary; either way I encourage you to give them a go!

Is there anything you think I have missed? This is one of those subjects I can't get enough of hearing about so any advice or further resources would be hugely welcome!

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My Morning Routine

I mentioned recently that I've become much more of a morning person; I went from being a kid who woke up at 6 just to write in my diary and read my books, to a teen who couldn't be dragged out of bed for love nor money... but finally my mornings feel balanced and still suitably chilled once more!

Here is the video for your viewing pleasure...

Do you have any habits you recommend? Will you be considering adopting any of the practices I mentioned? I am so super curious!!

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Learning To Appreciate Where I'm At

This post came about after a chat with my internet babe Sabrina. We were talking about how challenging it is to save money for the future and the stress she was feeling about moving home with her husband, and at one point she said, "You are so lucky. You only have to worry about yourself."

It struck a nerve because the past six months have seen me spending an unhealthy amount of time thinking that I was really unlucky. I saw myself as the 23-year-old girl who is always single, living at home with her parents, with no obvious next step career-wise. To have a happily married friend with a home of her own suggest that the grass might be greener on my side of the street was a genuine revelation to me.

I'm sure you have noticed it is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the little voices in all our heads; the ones that say, "You should be doing X; you shouldn't be doing Y. Look at all these beautiful people who have it better than you." I am most certainly not the first to observe that social media facilitates self-comparison, and I have often caught myself wondering how much of our online worlds are driven by this desire to aspire; to focus on admiring the lives of others, rather than appreciating our own.

I've also heard it said that worrying is one of those things that feels seductively productive; paradoxically it is as if by mulling over our insecurities, we believe we are doing something about them. Stepping back and letting go of this urge to endlessly evaluate ourselves can seem to be an incredibly tall order.

I have found that it helps to remind myself that in fact, any one of us can become convinced that someone else's life is rich with blessings that we lack. At least she is pretty/skinny/smart, our brains are so well trained to blurt out. At least she has a wonderful home/career/family life.

It hasn't been easy to say to myself that hey, my circumstances mean I can travel this summer, just as I've always wanted to do. What's more, all in all I am actually very lucky indeed... and such a critical part of my minimalism journey has been learning to stop believing that I need something and training myself to see what I have.

This month I started a little gratitude jar. It's not been a daily thing, but when something unexpectedly nice has happened I've written it down so that I can come back to it and feel thankful. Slowly but surely I am learning that it doesn't matter what I have; in my book, what matters is what I do and how well I treat people in my life.

Do you feel the pressure of self-comparison? Is it something you struggle with, or have you been able to find ways to deal with it? You guys always have excellent insight so I would love to hear from you!

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Habits I Would Love To Set

I seem to attract bad habits like honey draws bees, but I'm riding the wave of a few good habit successes of late... As I mentioned in a recent post, I've taken up early morning yoga and it has made my mornings so much nicer; who knew 2016 would be the year I became a yoga-loving vegetarian?! On a related note, I am debating making a chilled out morning routine video for you... Please let me know if this would appeal to you!

On to the habits... These are the things I'd like to be doing a little more of and I am hoping that sharing them will help them feel a bit more official. That whole accountability thing. We'll get going, shall we?

ONE | HAVE REGULAR OFFLINE DAYS

I loves my internets, I really do, but I need to learn that balance is everything. We're not expected to work 7 days a week, so spending each and every day online seems just as unhealthy to me. A couple of weeks ago I decided to say adios to posting on Instagram for a few days and found I was picking up my mobile far less as a result, but setting a definite day off has yet to happen for me. At present I am debating Mondays or Sundays... we shall see!

TWO | BAKE ON SUNDAYS

I love cooking and baking in particular has a lovely, meditative quality; if you have seen the Amélie scene where she bakes a heartbroken plum cake, you'll know exactly what I mean... I have been eyeing up a good number of vegan recipes and had a genuine dance for joy upon discovering my local supermarker now stocks cacao nibs, so I'm really up for a good chilled cookie making sesh. I also love the look of Siobhan's beautiful gingerbread men; it may not be Christmas, but they look just divine.

THREE | PICK UP THE PHONE MORE

I love hearing my girlfriends' voices as much as I despise the act of texting; catching up with them on a more frequent basis is something I've been meaning to take more seriously. WhatsApp's voice message function is my godsend, but I still feel there is no replacement for a proper old fashioned phone call, sharing nothing in particular but loving it anyway.

FOUR | READ, READ, READ

I've got significantly better at this reading lark since I left uni; that said, I still feel I could be reading far more. I told myself I would read a book every week this year... it's not gone exactly to plan, as at present I've averaged around one every two weeks instead. At the moment I'm reading The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro and I'm thinking of reading Gormenghast next; but really, I'd love to finish 2016 having read more than the 21 books I read last year.

FIVE | TAKE MORE PHOTOS ON FILM

Last year I wrote this post about my beloved film camera, but I've since massively failed in my efforts to use it... a shame as it produces such lovely results! I plan on taking it on all my travels this year: fingers crossed you'll be seeing shots of New York, West Virginia and Paris from my trusty little analog. I'm also debating getting a Polaroid camera... basic I know, but I love the format so much!

Do you guys have any habits you are working towards at the moment? Feel free to share them in the comments, it would be great to hear about what matters to you!

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